Shared Sep 16 with 63 notes / reblog
» via / source


fasterfood:

"God damn it!" i yell as i stub my toe on a table. suddenly from the sky, i hear god reply "okay". the floor splits open, revealing a pit to hell. god pushes the table down into the pit, and then it seals up. he actually did it. god damned it.


Shared Sep 16 with 140,113 notes / reblog
» via / source
# text  










In 60 years

  • grandchild: grandma why are you so bitter??
  • me: *takes a swig of vodka*
  • me: *lights up cuban cigar*
  • me: *gazes out the window*
  • me: my otp will never be canon
  • *roll credits*
Shared Sep 15 with 9,674 notes / reblog
» via / source
# text  




Shared Sep 14 with 767 notes / reblog
» via / source